Leaving the Lutheran Religion and Turning Into a Spiritual Goddess

photo credit: Dee Jones

I hate going to church.

I've held onto this shame and guilt for my entire life and am ready to own it and let it go.

Growing up I was a Lutheran. I went to church every Sunday with my family, got baptized, went to confirmation, went on mission trips in Jamaica, participated and led Bible studies, went on national youth gatherings across the county, attended a Lutheran High School in St. Louis, dated devoted Christian men...

I was in balls deep with the Lutheran religion until I decided to break free at the age of 29.

For me, church feels so unnatural. The hard cold benches, the loud organ music, the old dusty Bibles, the awful tasting wafers and wine, and the never ending undertones fear of sinning.

I tried so hard to drink the koolaid growing up. I wanted to feel something deep and inspirational after going to church each week. Instead I just felt lost, confused, and judged.

“Something must be wrong with me” I thought many times...

“Maybe I’m not trying hard enough to be a good Christian. Maybe God doesn't love me. Is this why I can't feel anything?”

I was always terrified of God in the past. I thought that each time I sinned, He was going to send fire bolts down to earth and burn me to Hell on the spot.

That’s such an awful way to live life. Being fearful of your creator and feeling guilty all the time.

I needed to step back and form my own definition of religion/church.

My life coach gave me this permission, to drop the guilt and find something that felt better for me.

I now define myself as being a Spiritual Goddess and have lots of tools to help keep me plugged into the Universe which is the new name I’ve used to replace God.

Yoga and meditation allow me to get centered and focused when talking and manifesting (my version of praying) to my spiritual team.

Meeting with psychics twice a year allows me to receive divine guidance for my life and business that I might not be able to hear on my own.

Taking a walk outside listening to motivational speakers on my podcasts are like an outdoor version of going to church and listening to sermons from pastors.

Cooking whole foods from the earth and nourishing my body with them is like my version of bread and wine.

Wearing powerful crystals in my jewelry is like me wearing a cross around my neck.

Traveling around the world and meeting new and interesting people from various cultures is like my version of going on a mission trip.

Leading group coaching calls feels similar to leading Bible studies.

Every month I donate 10% of my profits to help women grow their businesses around the world. This is my version of giving a tithe every Sunday in the circular gold dish.

Running my life coaching business on a daily basis feels like I’m serving my true purpose and carrying out God’s mission one person at a time.

I love the relationship that I now have with the Universe. It 100% works for me. There is no fear, only passionate love and I feel empowered that I get to choose how this looks.

I acknowledge that millions of people all over the world get what they need from going to Church and I think it's wonderful that form of a space is what works for them.

But if you’re struggling with your current religion and want to shamelessly explore more than go for it! Find a version that suits you. This is between you and your God. No-one else gets to have an opinion about that.

Would love to hear your story now...

Were you religious and a weekly church goer at one time and now identify more with being spiritual? How did you cross that bridge and let go of the feelings of guilt that can tag along?